Ruff Night!!

Ok so I go to bed last night earlier because I have to be at work at 6 am. Now I was nicely tucked away in my velvet soft air mattress having a wonderful dream. I was dreaming that I was in this new sitcom and I was one of the stars in it. It was so real. I was just leaving my trailer to head over to the set for filming when all the sudden there was this horrible noise in my dream and I turned around with such fright as if something bad was going to happen!! And something bad did!!!! I woke up to my fuckin phone ringing, because some rotten Georgia peach decided to give me a drunken call! Now, I love this busied rotten peach a lot, but she done ruined my sweet dreams. As I was about to fall asleep I heard that she left a voice message. Her drunk ass yelled at me for not answering my phone! This peach is better known as Jessica S! And for the record she is NO PEACH! Beautiful, yes Southern Bell? HELL NO!
Anyways, so I go back to sleep. When I wake up in the morning to the alarm, I notice that I am sleeping on the floor. However, I was still on the mattress, but the part I was laying on was deflated, but on other sides of me it was full as it could be. I couldn't believe it, JUDGED by my own bed. I had a mind to put a knife into that bed, but I was running late for work!! What can ya do? I am no spring chicken.